Michael Jordan and Practice
Michael Jordan is considered by many to be the best basketball player to ever play the game. But it wasn’t all just raw talent. He trained relentlessly. Even at the top of his career, when everyone saw him as the best, most valuable player on his team, he didn’t use his fame as an excuse to get sloppy in practice. According to Stacy King, one of his teammates with the Chicago Bulls:
“He came to work every day. He didn’t use his superstar status to skip practice. MJ was always at practice. For someone like myself, I couldn’t call in sick with a toe injury. If Michael Jordan could get pounded on every night and then come to practice to run sprints and go through a full practice the next day, guys like myself and B.J. Armstrong couldn’t think about missing practice. He had tremendous talent, but he was ultra competitive and had a great work ethic.”
http://newsok.com/article/3401884
Tom Brady and Matt Ryan at Practice
In football, you see this work ethic in successful players like Quarterbacks Tom Brady for New England and Matt Ryan for the Atlanta Falcons. They show up for all the optional, off-season conditioning. They keep practicing plays after the regular practice. Ryan has the game plan sent to him before the first day of practice, so that he can start studying it early.
A part of success is simply showing up. That goes for school too. I know that you have those days when you can think of a million things you’d rather do than hop on that bus. But I challenge you to do it anyway. Keep showing up. For successful people, that’s a huge part of their success.
For more character stories, visit Legacy Educational Resources at www.character-education.info .
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Led Zeppelin and Jack Welch Show Up On Time
Led Zeppelin took the 1970’s by storm, rising quickly to become, not only one of the most popular bands of their time, but of all time. Their song, Stairway to Heaven, remains one of the most played songs on radio. They’ve sold over 200 million albums worldwide. VH1 ranks them #1 on their chart of “100 Greatest Artists of Hard Rock.”
Although they got into their fair share of craziness along the way, they were professional when it came to their music. They determined that they would let nothing come before their music. Here’s an example: according to their manager, during their twelve years of performing, they never missed a performance. Never. Neither were they ever late.
Think of it this way, had they been performing throughout your school career of 12 grades, they would have never been late for a performance. Not once.
You’ll find this as a characteristic of many highly successful people. They show up. On time. Every time.
Jack Welch lead one the largest, most successful companies in the world – General Electric. GE is worth more than the total domestic product of entire countries. Because of Welch’s performance there, he’s considered one of the greatest business leaders of his time.
But before he became president, while he was working his way up through the company, he found ways to separate himself out from the pack. Here’s one thing he did: if he had a business meeting scheduled the next day in another city, but he was afraid that bad weather might delay his flight, he’d fly in the day before.
That attention to showing up, on time and prepared, was a part of what made people know that he could one day lead the company.
From Led Zeppelin to Jack Welch, success people find ways to make their meetings on time. Do you want to get a good education? Now’s a great time to overcome whatever hurdles keep you from showing up from school. Hey, it’s not always easy. But find ways to make it happen and it just might make you successful, whether you want to be a rock star or a business leader.
(Sources: Stairway to Heaven: Led Zeppelin, Uncensored, by Richard Cole, with Richard Trubo, HarperCollinsPublishers, 1992, p. 377.)
Find Legacy Educational Resources at www.character-education.info .
Although they got into their fair share of craziness along the way, they were professional when it came to their music. They determined that they would let nothing come before their music. Here’s an example: according to their manager, during their twelve years of performing, they never missed a performance. Never. Neither were they ever late.
Think of it this way, had they been performing throughout your school career of 12 grades, they would have never been late for a performance. Not once.
You’ll find this as a characteristic of many highly successful people. They show up. On time. Every time.
Jack Welch lead one the largest, most successful companies in the world – General Electric. GE is worth more than the total domestic product of entire countries. Because of Welch’s performance there, he’s considered one of the greatest business leaders of his time.
But before he became president, while he was working his way up through the company, he found ways to separate himself out from the pack. Here’s one thing he did: if he had a business meeting scheduled the next day in another city, but he was afraid that bad weather might delay his flight, he’d fly in the day before.
That attention to showing up, on time and prepared, was a part of what made people know that he could one day lead the company.
From Led Zeppelin to Jack Welch, success people find ways to make their meetings on time. Do you want to get a good education? Now’s a great time to overcome whatever hurdles keep you from showing up from school. Hey, it’s not always easy. But find ways to make it happen and it just might make you successful, whether you want to be a rock star or a business leader.
(Sources: Stairway to Heaven: Led Zeppelin, Uncensored, by Richard Cole, with Richard Trubo, HarperCollinsPublishers, 1992, p. 377.)
Find Legacy Educational Resources at www.character-education.info .
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
When Character Seems Inconsistent
Does a person's character permeate his life, flowing consistently from work to leisure to family? Not necessarily, say Psychologists. A NY Times op ed piece reports that Psychologists often find students being honest at school, but dishonest at home. A jock may be bold on the playing field, but a wimp at verbally presenting a project to a small group. In other words, for many, character isn't something that people tend to have, regardless of their situation or activity. It may shift when given different contexts.
This makes sense from my observations. People who would otherwise be considered incredibly virtuous feel no remorse at misleading a potential car buyer about the imminent demise of your clunker's transmission.
If we feel (and I do) that good character traits should to be applied consistently in all aspects of life, we may need to take a closer look at areas of life we've tended to ignore. After all, when a child sees a parent bragging about cheating the government out of a bit of taxes, the child concludes, not that merely that the parent cheats on taxes, but that cheating can be OK. Don't believe me? Warn your child about cheating at school and see if the tax thing comes up.
Find Legacy Educational Resources at www.character-education.info .
Friday, October 16, 2009
Teaching Millennials More Effectively
Are you passionate about teaching, but often distraught with the lack of student motivation and engagement? Perhaps, by failing to understand your students, you've either failed to push the right buttons, or are pushing the wrong buttons.
Yesterday I attended a thought-provoking, yet practical seminar at Kennesaw State University. It was lead by Dr. Christy Price, professor of Psychology at Dalton State College, and researcher in the area of understanding and teaching millennials. (If you'd like to read her essay on this subject, click HERE.)
Here are some of my take-aways:
1. Be relevant. Show students how what you're teaching will help them be successful in the areas they want to be successful. Don't teach knowledge for knowledge's sake.
2. Be relational. Millennials are all about relationships. Within sane limits (you can't be their parent or best buddy!) communicate with them via e-mail, one-on-one, etc. One of my sons communicates much better via e-mail than face-to-face. Use whatever means is most comfortable to them. Take an interest in their world, and they may take in interest in your subject matter and your world.
When teaching a one-time seminar or class, I like to start by asking students about their interests and where they're headed vocationally. Then, as I teach, I keep referring to how my content could help several of the class members with their specific goals. [After all, their primary motivation for being at school isn't to become wise (shocking), but to get a good job. So it makes sense to engage them by appealing to their felt needs.] Dr. Price used this technique in her seminar, talking to individuals before the seminar about what they do and referring back to them during the seminar.
3. Care. Students don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. Although this is so often said as to be trite, it's so seldom applied that students are wowed when they sense a professor really cares. One poll found students putting "knowledgable" last on their list of what they look for in a professor. Perhaps it's because they expect that any teacher should know her subject. Whatever the case, don't think you can impress them or hook them by knowing all the dates of important historical events. If you're simply dispensing facts that they can look up on the internet, you're irrelevant.
4. Chill. They live in an informal world. They wear flip-flops and pants that hang off their butts. Is it surprising that they're uncomfortable around uptight, immaculately dressed, formal types? Perhaps because they're more buddy-buddy with their parents than former generations, they come across less respectful when addressing other adults. They'll often treat you more as an equal than is comfortable to you.
Rather than bemoan their sloppiness and sometimes irritating remarks, harness that openness to get them discussing and thinking. Whereas former generations might have been too scared of their authorities to routinely challenge opinions or add to discussions, this generation will often dive right in.
One professor commented after the seminar, "I think the reason that most history professors lecture the entire hour is that they're afraid that if they allow for questions, students will ask them things they can't answer, especially when they're covering areas outside of their dissertation." I'd respond, "Get over it. They know you're not omniscient - why not admit it?"
So, chill.
I remember one of my college philosophy professors saying, "The older I get, the more comfortable I get with that little phrase, 'I don't know.'" I respected him for that. Still do. Get used to that phrase, followed by this comment, "but that's a great question! Maybe we can figure that out together!"
If you come across approachable, you'll learn so much together with your students.
5. Be open minded and flexible - not rigid. One teacher wanted students to not wear hats. Perhaps he felt it was important for his students to get used to a professional environment or whatever. One student approached him privately about his hat making him feel more comfortable. Additionally, (and probably the real issue) his hair was thinning, which was an embarrassment. The teacher bent and let the class wear hats. When it makes sense to change, change.
6. Don't talk down to them. Many millennials are overconfident (a condition shared by most Americans, for that matter), leading them to think they're smarter and more knowledgeable than they are. When you're looking at your class, realize that most of them think they're above average. If your mission in life is to take them down a notch by showing them how dumb they really are, it probably won't work. They'll simply conclude, "That teacher thinks he knows so much - but he doesn't know anything that I can't find with a Google search. He's so full of himself!"
Instead, harness that audacity by getting their input. Ask them if they agree or disagree. Ask them how the principle applies to real life. Back in the late 70's one of my colleges scheduled a session for students to give their input into the curriculum. Lots of students showed up and gave valuable input. That's called respecting students. But how many teachers are humble enough learners to listen to students' ideas?
Use informal, rather than technical language. Don't try to impress them with big words.
7. Minimize lecture - 20 minutes max at a time. They don't hate lecture - just exclusive lecture. Inject discussions, video clips, etc. - anything to give them time to digest important concepts and appeal to the students who don't learn best by lecture.
8. Allow yourself to be fun and use humor. If you're not funny, find funny stuff (u-tube, etc.) that relates to your subject. Your students could help you to find it!
9. Enhance your teaching with new technology. Dr. Price gave us all hand-held devices (i clickers) at the first of the seminar, by which we could anonymously answer questions throughout the presentation. We quickly learned how many age-groups were represented, what attendees thought of certain concepts, etc., by choosing A) B) C) or D) in response to her questions. Her students each buy one to use in class.
This one device would be invaluable for getting helpful student input. In Math: "The concept we just presented - do you a) now fully understand it b) kind of get it or c) don't get it at all? If 90% don't understand it, you back up and discover what they missed.
10. Emphasize group work and allow students to get to know one another. After all, isn't one of the most important things you can come out of college with is the ability to network through your connections?
11. Let them know exactly what they need to do to succeed in your class. A rubric is a great idea. Make sure they thoroughly understand it.
12. Give them options. Some would do better with a long-term project, others with weekly tests. As long as they meet your objectives by the end of the term, who cares how they got there, as long as it's fair to all?
13. Consider giving earlier tests that count less, in order for them to get acclimated. Some students will wait until after to first test to see if they can get by without buying the text. Basing an entire grade on a midterm and a final can be devastating.
14. Allow them time to process information. You might use games, exercises, or application activities.
15. Use illustrations and jokes from their world. Not only are these more interesting to your students, but using them shows that you're interested in their world.
16. Use case studies - either shared by you, on video, or with a panel of experts.
17. Grade stuff. Remember, most aren't primarily after the knowledge; they're after grades. So if you ask them to do something and they do it, but they don't get a grade for it, they feel cheated. They're used to little rewards (like a few points here and a few points there) for completing tasks. Give points for participating in class, perfect attendance, etc. Make it clear from the start what behaviors will be rewarded.
18. Treat them as individuals. The millennial profile probably fits none of your students completely, and some of your students not at all. This informative and thought-provoking article warns us to not put millennials, or any other generation, in a tidy box -
http://chronicle.com/article/The-Millennial-Muddle-How/48772/
Is this helpful? Are these workable ideas, or are some of them taking the millennial thing too far?
Find Legacy Educational Resources at www.character-education.info .
Yesterday I attended a thought-provoking, yet practical seminar at Kennesaw State University. It was lead by Dr. Christy Price, professor of Psychology at Dalton State College, and researcher in the area of understanding and teaching millennials. (If you'd like to read her essay on this subject, click HERE.)
Here are some of my take-aways:
1. Be relevant. Show students how what you're teaching will help them be successful in the areas they want to be successful. Don't teach knowledge for knowledge's sake.
2. Be relational. Millennials are all about relationships. Within sane limits (you can't be their parent or best buddy!) communicate with them via e-mail, one-on-one, etc. One of my sons communicates much better via e-mail than face-to-face. Use whatever means is most comfortable to them. Take an interest in their world, and they may take in interest in your subject matter and your world.
When teaching a one-time seminar or class, I like to start by asking students about their interests and where they're headed vocationally. Then, as I teach, I keep referring to how my content could help several of the class members with their specific goals. [After all, their primary motivation for being at school isn't to become wise (shocking), but to get a good job. So it makes sense to engage them by appealing to their felt needs.] Dr. Price used this technique in her seminar, talking to individuals before the seminar about what they do and referring back to them during the seminar.
3. Care. Students don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. Although this is so often said as to be trite, it's so seldom applied that students are wowed when they sense a professor really cares. One poll found students putting "knowledgable" last on their list of what they look for in a professor. Perhaps it's because they expect that any teacher should know her subject. Whatever the case, don't think you can impress them or hook them by knowing all the dates of important historical events. If you're simply dispensing facts that they can look up on the internet, you're irrelevant.
4. Chill. They live in an informal world. They wear flip-flops and pants that hang off their butts. Is it surprising that they're uncomfortable around uptight, immaculately dressed, formal types? Perhaps because they're more buddy-buddy with their parents than former generations, they come across less respectful when addressing other adults. They'll often treat you more as an equal than is comfortable to you.
Rather than bemoan their sloppiness and sometimes irritating remarks, harness that openness to get them discussing and thinking. Whereas former generations might have been too scared of their authorities to routinely challenge opinions or add to discussions, this generation will often dive right in.
One professor commented after the seminar, "I think the reason that most history professors lecture the entire hour is that they're afraid that if they allow for questions, students will ask them things they can't answer, especially when they're covering areas outside of their dissertation." I'd respond, "Get over it. They know you're not omniscient - why not admit it?"
So, chill.
I remember one of my college philosophy professors saying, "The older I get, the more comfortable I get with that little phrase, 'I don't know.'" I respected him for that. Still do. Get used to that phrase, followed by this comment, "but that's a great question! Maybe we can figure that out together!"
If you come across approachable, you'll learn so much together with your students.
5. Be open minded and flexible - not rigid. One teacher wanted students to not wear hats. Perhaps he felt it was important for his students to get used to a professional environment or whatever. One student approached him privately about his hat making him feel more comfortable. Additionally, (and probably the real issue) his hair was thinning, which was an embarrassment. The teacher bent and let the class wear hats. When it makes sense to change, change.
6. Don't talk down to them. Many millennials are overconfident (a condition shared by most Americans, for that matter), leading them to think they're smarter and more knowledgeable than they are. When you're looking at your class, realize that most of them think they're above average. If your mission in life is to take them down a notch by showing them how dumb they really are, it probably won't work. They'll simply conclude, "That teacher thinks he knows so much - but he doesn't know anything that I can't find with a Google search. He's so full of himself!"
Instead, harness that audacity by getting their input. Ask them if they agree or disagree. Ask them how the principle applies to real life. Back in the late 70's one of my colleges scheduled a session for students to give their input into the curriculum. Lots of students showed up and gave valuable input. That's called respecting students. But how many teachers are humble enough learners to listen to students' ideas?
Use informal, rather than technical language. Don't try to impress them with big words.
7. Minimize lecture - 20 minutes max at a time. They don't hate lecture - just exclusive lecture. Inject discussions, video clips, etc. - anything to give them time to digest important concepts and appeal to the students who don't learn best by lecture.
8. Allow yourself to be fun and use humor. If you're not funny, find funny stuff (u-tube, etc.) that relates to your subject. Your students could help you to find it!
9. Enhance your teaching with new technology. Dr. Price gave us all hand-held devices (i clickers) at the first of the seminar, by which we could anonymously answer questions throughout the presentation. We quickly learned how many age-groups were represented, what attendees thought of certain concepts, etc., by choosing A) B) C) or D) in response to her questions. Her students each buy one to use in class.
This one device would be invaluable for getting helpful student input. In Math: "The concept we just presented - do you a) now fully understand it b) kind of get it or c) don't get it at all? If 90% don't understand it, you back up and discover what they missed.
10. Emphasize group work and allow students to get to know one another. After all, isn't one of the most important things you can come out of college with is the ability to network through your connections?
11. Let them know exactly what they need to do to succeed in your class. A rubric is a great idea. Make sure they thoroughly understand it.
12. Give them options. Some would do better with a long-term project, others with weekly tests. As long as they meet your objectives by the end of the term, who cares how they got there, as long as it's fair to all?
13. Consider giving earlier tests that count less, in order for them to get acclimated. Some students will wait until after to first test to see if they can get by without buying the text. Basing an entire grade on a midterm and a final can be devastating.
14. Allow them time to process information. You might use games, exercises, or application activities.
15. Use illustrations and jokes from their world. Not only are these more interesting to your students, but using them shows that you're interested in their world.
16. Use case studies - either shared by you, on video, or with a panel of experts.
17. Grade stuff. Remember, most aren't primarily after the knowledge; they're after grades. So if you ask them to do something and they do it, but they don't get a grade for it, they feel cheated. They're used to little rewards (like a few points here and a few points there) for completing tasks. Give points for participating in class, perfect attendance, etc. Make it clear from the start what behaviors will be rewarded.
18. Treat them as individuals. The millennial profile probably fits none of your students completely, and some of your students not at all. This informative and thought-provoking article warns us to not put millennials, or any other generation, in a tidy box -
http://chronicle.com/article/The-Millennial-Muddle-How/48772/
Is this helpful? Are these workable ideas, or are some of them taking the millennial thing too far?
Find Legacy Educational Resources at www.character-education.info .
Friday, October 9, 2009
Eric Clapton Makes Good Use of Time
Character/Life Skills Traits: Work Ethic, Time Management
Eric Clapton is heralded by many as one of the greatest rock guitarists of all time. In fact, he's the only person to be inducted three times into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. How did he become so successful? Well, one thing was that he spent a lot of time with his guitar. I'll give you an example.
One evening Clapton was getting a bit frustrated. He'd been ready to go out to dinner for some time, but his girlfriend, Patty, was making him late. It wasn't the first time. She typically had a hard time getting ready for outings.
So he played his guitar for awhile to kill time, then checked back to find her still trying to decide what to wear. He told her, "Look, you look wonderful, okay? Please don't change again. We must go or we'll be late."
Now, many men at this point would have proceeded to stomp around - frustrated, hungry and steaming. But Clapton returned to his guitar and within about 10 minutes had composed a song about his predicament entitled "Wonderful Tonight." Good thing he used his time wisely. The song became one of his all-time most famous hits.
The point? Most successful people seem to carve out time for what matters, where the unsuccessful waste it. As Thomas Edison, the prolific inventor, once said, "Good things come to those who hustle while they wait."
(Source: Clapton: The Autobiography, by Eric Clapton, pp. 173, 174.)
Discussion
1. How did Eric Clapton make good use of his time?
2. How do you think prioritizing his time with the guitar contributed to his success?
3. What are some things you could do to get more out of your time?
4. What's something you could do this week to make more of your time?
Share your ideas below. How do you use your time wisely? How can we get that across to our students?Find more character stories at Legacy Educational Resources: www.character-education.info .
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
What Quarterback Tom Brady Teaches Us About Work
Work Can Be Fun – Even Hard Work
Imagine that you’re set financially – you’ve achieved financial independence beyond 99% of the world’s dreams. I mean, you’ve got multiple millions of dollars – plenty of money to buy lots of cool things and still live on the beach and chill for the rest of your life.
Now imagine that someone offers you a job – a hard job. A job that requires you to work-out to the point of exhaustion each day. When you fail, no matter how hard you tried, you’ll probably get yelled at. And besides the physical challenge of the job, you’ll have to digest tons of new information every week. Besides all that, it’s dangerous. There’s a high possibility of serious injuries, some of which could plague you the rest of your life.
Now, would you take the job?
Tom Brady, quarterback for the New England Patriots, does that each year. He’s already wealthy beyond most people’s imagination. Yet, each year that he chooses to endure grueling practices, study film of the opposing teams, memorize thick, complicated playbooks, and risk injury. (Last year he had to undergo serious knee surgery, followed up with two surgeries to flush out staph infection.)
Why does he keep playing? Because he loves his job.
According to Brady,
So as you take part time jobs, reflect on what you like about them and what you hate about them. Get to know yourself. Most people don’t . The more accurately you can pinpoint your strengths and weaknesses, your loves and your hates, the better you’ll be at finding work that you love; work that you love so much that you’d never trade it for leisure years at the beach.
(Quotes from Sports Illustrated, June 1, 2009, The Season Can’t Come Soon Enough for a Healthy Tom Brady, interview with Tom Brady by Peter King)
Discussion
1) What are some of the difficulties Tom Brady faces in his work?
2) If you had Brady’s job and Brady’s money, would you get out now, or keep playing?
3) Why do you think he keeps playing?
4) Do you think that, given the same talent as Brady, that everyone would love his job?
5) Do you think other people can be just as passionate at their jobs, even when their work is difficult?
6) How can we find jobs that we love?
Find more life skills and character stories at Legacy Educational Resources at www.character-education.info .
Imagine that you’re set financially – you’ve achieved financial independence beyond 99% of the world’s dreams. I mean, you’ve got multiple millions of dollars – plenty of money to buy lots of cool things and still live on the beach and chill for the rest of your life.
Now imagine that someone offers you a job – a hard job. A job that requires you to work-out to the point of exhaustion each day. When you fail, no matter how hard you tried, you’ll probably get yelled at. And besides the physical challenge of the job, you’ll have to digest tons of new information every week. Besides all that, it’s dangerous. There’s a high possibility of serious injuries, some of which could plague you the rest of your life.
Now, would you take the job?
Tom Brady, quarterback for the New England Patriots, does that each year. He’s already wealthy beyond most people’s imagination. Yet, each year that he chooses to endure grueling practices, study film of the opposing teams, memorize thick, complicated playbooks, and risk injury. (Last year he had to undergo serious knee surgery, followed up with two surgeries to flush out staph infection.)
Why does he keep playing? Because he loves his job.
According to Brady,
- "I want to play another 10 years."
- “ I want to play until I'm 41. And if I get to that point and still feel good, I'll keep playing. I mean, what …else am I going to do? I don't like anything else.”
- “Why would I ever want to do anything else?”
So as you take part time jobs, reflect on what you like about them and what you hate about them. Get to know yourself. Most people don’t . The more accurately you can pinpoint your strengths and weaknesses, your loves and your hates, the better you’ll be at finding work that you love; work that you love so much that you’d never trade it for leisure years at the beach.
(Quotes from Sports Illustrated, June 1, 2009, The Season Can’t Come Soon Enough for a Healthy Tom Brady, interview with Tom Brady by Peter King)
Discussion
1) What are some of the difficulties Tom Brady faces in his work?
2) If you had Brady’s job and Brady’s money, would you get out now, or keep playing?
3) Why do you think he keeps playing?
4) Do you think that, given the same talent as Brady, that everyone would love his job?
5) Do you think other people can be just as passionate at their jobs, even when their work is difficult?
6) How can we find jobs that we love?
Find more life skills and character stories at Legacy Educational Resources at www.character-education.info .
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
On Handling Kids' Mistakes
A recent New York Times article reported studies of children and guilt. In sum, guilt is a good thing, if not taken to an extreme. When a two-year-old is told to be careful with a toy, but she breaks it, she typically experiences "a sinking feeling in the tummy." That reaction is what should continue to effectively motivate a child toward good behavior as she grows. She doesn't want to do bad things because she knows it will give her that sinking feeling.
Psychologists aren't yet sure why some of the children feel more guilt than others. Is it more genetics or upbringing?
Even if a child doesn't have a strong feeling of guilt, he may have a strong ability to self-regulate. In other words, bullying on the playground wouldn't produce a sinking feeling and he'd really like to bully those annoying little punks around, but he chooses not to because it simply doesn't seem like wise behavior (you risk discipline, lose friends, etc.).
The problem comes when a child lacks both the feeling of guilt and the ability to self-regulate.
So how should a parent or teacher deal with guilt feelings in children? Surprisingly, many children, and even adults, don't know how to productively deal with these guilt feelings. Let's say your child was careless and spilled his milk. You find him standing over the milk with that pitiful "I've blown it" look on his face. Just say something like, in a matter of fact way, "Perhaps you need to be more careful next time. Now let's clean it up and make the kitchen look even better than it did before."
It's a good way to acknowledge the mistake, give a way to practically deal with the mistake, without producing the unproductive feeling that "I'm a bad boy."
Find Legacy Educational Resources at www.character-education.info .
Psychologists aren't yet sure why some of the children feel more guilt than others. Is it more genetics or upbringing?
Even if a child doesn't have a strong feeling of guilt, he may have a strong ability to self-regulate. In other words, bullying on the playground wouldn't produce a sinking feeling and he'd really like to bully those annoying little punks around, but he chooses not to because it simply doesn't seem like wise behavior (you risk discipline, lose friends, etc.).
The problem comes when a child lacks both the feeling of guilt and the ability to self-regulate.
So how should a parent or teacher deal with guilt feelings in children? Surprisingly, many children, and even adults, don't know how to productively deal with these guilt feelings. Let's say your child was careless and spilled his milk. You find him standing over the milk with that pitiful "I've blown it" look on his face. Just say something like, in a matter of fact way, "Perhaps you need to be more careful next time. Now let's clean it up and make the kitchen look even better than it did before."
It's a good way to acknowledge the mistake, give a way to practically deal with the mistake, without producing the unproductive feeling that "I'm a bad boy."
Find Legacy Educational Resources at www.character-education.info .
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